


Rain Falling

by Iammissingautumn



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: M/M, fanfic of a fanfic, misgendering ancom, no beta we die like men, repressed homo, yearning adjacent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28660368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iammissingautumn/pseuds/Iammissingautumn
Summary: Nazi wakes up from the storm outside after having been watching it from the couch. There, he finds Ancom on the floor. Sleeping, mostly, peacefully.
Relationships: Anarcho-Communism/White Identitarian | Nazi (Centricde)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 38





	Rain Falling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [clovenhooves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clovenhooves/gifts).
  * Inspired by [locked inside](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27254545) by [clovenhooves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clovenhooves/pseuds/clovenhooves). 



> Okay, small intro thing.  
> 1\. This inspired by and for this fuckin great series that clovenhooves wrote about Nazi/Ancom in Octoberish called Exploits. It’s some of my favorite centricide fics that I’ve read and I just hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Which kinda segways into  
> 2\. This is alsoninspired by The Mountain Goats There Will Be No Divorce. Specifically the line “And you were sleeping on the floor/Breathing free and even/If I ever want to drive myself insane/All I have to do is watch you breathing.” but what led to it being more. Exploits-core is because it has the line “And you punched out all the windows”. Which is to say, this makes more sense if you’ve at the Least read the latest update in that series, Locked Inside.  
> In context of that, it comes in as more of an au where Ancom left without anyone noticing and Nazi spent the afternoon waiting for quem to come home. 
> 
> Of course, you don’t actually need to read the series to enjoy this. But as much as this is for centricide, this is a small love letter to the fic series I love currently left unfinished, and to the writer who made the series and other great fics.

Naz had only woken up to a dark room, he hadn't realized he had even fallen asleep, and yet, there he lay on the couch with a blanket over him. The thunder having woken him up. It took a moment to even remember why he was out here. He had been watching the storm ~~_worrying_~~ admiring the beauty of the storm. It's rage, it's loud raindrops. 

As he sat up, he found it still to be quite a sight. A force no one was to reckon with. He knew he was to be like that one day. 

Naz rubbed his eyes, turning on the lamp on the side table. Looking around, he froze when he saw the shape on the ground. The green hood was sliding down his head and his hair stuck to his head. A heavy blanket, maybe his comforter? laid over him. Baseball bat still in a loose one-handed grip, he was facing towards the couch, all curled up as if he was some cat.

Like this, Ancom looked… different. Liked his worries were washed away. Usually, something about him was always tense, he was always paying attention. Baseball bat in grip, he would be looking towards any noise being made, always have some degenerate thing to say. But here… here Ancom's face was well rested and there was no comeback, no scoff at him, no rolling eyes or comment. He was just sleeping, keeping calm breath as he dreamed. Ancom looked  ~~_ handsome _ ~~ peaceful. The way his body rose and fell with his breaths and the light from occasional lightning strikes covered his face in perfect shadows. He looked… --

Naz looked back out to the window. Stoping his own degeneracy.  _ Do not look at men like that. Despite his insistence, despite his degeneracy, he is still male. Satisfying needs is much different than romance. Looking at him softly is not allowed.  _ He should know better. But after all this time, he was still bad at keeping himself in line. He swore Ancom was going to drive him insane.

He ignored his own impulses and shoved down his stupid unneeded, and unnatural feelings. He had not been worried when he found his car window had been smashed. Right. He was angry. He had been so angry. Right? Yes. Upset. If anything he should kick the anarchist away. Make him pay to get it fixed. Or just yell at him. Disrupt his--

Naz stopped, eyes shooting back to Ancom as he moved and pressed himself into the couch. Mumbling something incoherent, his head moved a bit as he reached out towards the couch. Naz stayed frozen, watching as his hand didn't slump down. Instead, he moved a bit more, hand grabbing at the couch. 

Naz inched to lean a bit forward, taking a look down at Ancom's face. His eyes were closed shut, almost scrunched up like he was distressed. Naz looked around, leaning a bit forward to see if he could see any lights on in the other rooms. But the house was silent. And Ancom was still reaching out to him.

He didn't felt bad for earlier today. No. Nope. The thing he had done this morning. It was out of fact. He did not want to be seen with him. He did not want people to think it was more than it was. Because it wasn't. It was needs. And that was all. 

He didn't like Ancom like that. He didn't. Ancom was a degenerate who did countless degenerate things. Had no decency, even when it came to loyalty in relationships. Which should be such a simple thing, yet he couldn't even manage something such as that. Which was ridiculous. Ancom was ridiculous and had tainted Naz. Ruined him. 

Ancom let out a word. It was small and quiet, even if he hadn't been staring at Ancom he would have been able to tell that he had been sleeping. It almost came as a whine almost like it was a beg. But it was softer. Kinder. 

" _ Please _ ?" 

Naz bit his cheek, taking Ancom's hand and looking around them, making certain that no one was around.  _ This was fine. This was okay. No one is around. He wouldn't even remember. It meant nothing.  _ Naz turned the light back off, laying back down and pulling the thinner blanket over himself once more.

They had held hands before. Not in a… domestic way. There was no walking around with hands held, obviously. Hands being held down wasn't anything particularly new, but that wasn't this. This was… this was something else. Obviously. 

He paid it no mind though, really. He was sure this wasn't real, and if it was, it was just a dream, and if this wasn't a dream then no one would be around to see it, and then it wasn't real anyway. He couldn't let this be real. He couldn't.

But while it wasn't real, he would focus on how warm Ancom felt. His hands were rougher than he expected, and it felt like another reminder that Ancom was older than he thought. He had done more, he had fought, he still was fighting. Even now there was a small cut on the back of his hand that he made sure to avoid.

Naz just… looked up at the ceiling, occasionally rubbing his thumb against Ancom's knuckle, and keeping his head clear. No need for instructions. No obtrusions or obsessions. He kept them far away from his mind. Instead, just holding Ancom's hand. 

After come time Ancom's grip became looser and he seemed to relax. 

This didn't exist. This wasn't real. So yeah, he did feel bad for this morning. For making him walk home. For making him leave for who knows how long. He felt bad and it was dripping through his consciousness. Dragging himself down. 

He felt bad because Ancom hadn't been wrong about him. 

But he couldn't prove him right. 


End file.
